These lizards are freaking me out

February 13, 2007

Kumasi

Maybe it’s the Larium, I don’t know. Travellers are warned of the potential psychotropic side effects of this malaria medication I have coursing through my veins right now. They say a small percentage of people on Larium are apt to suffer from side effects like paranoia, hallucination and general mental malaise. So far it looks like I’m in the clear — as long as the lizards running all over the street are real, and not figments of my imagination.



They’re everywhere, these long purple reptiles with orange heads and orange tails. They scuttle from underfoot as soon as they see me, up onto the walls. And then they watch me. They’re watching every step I take. They sit there, defying gravity, stuck to the wall with their little sucker feet, craning their heads around so they can get a better look. They are watching, all the time.



Then you know what happens? The little bastards start doing pushups, bobbing up and down like they’re getting ready to spring or something. They’re just biding their time, but they know. They know everything.

This alley is really narrow. It’s got high walls on both sides with lizards all over them, probably living inside them. There’s probably a whole army of lizards clinging to the other sides of these walls right now, doing push-ups, waiting for the order…



My God, this is where we live. This is right outside the door to our hostel. It’s a trap. I was so stupid not to see it before. They’re out there every day, clocking our movements, watching our comings and goings, waiting for the right moment to strike.

As soon as she gets home I’ll tell Trish we’re moving. I just hope the lizards don’t make their move first. G.